Just Dive In

Throughout my life I have read many books, and in a strange way many of them have changed my life. I can easily dive into a book and never come out. I have no problem getting into a relationship with the characters and the lifestyles of a well written book, the only thing throwing me from the story line: an occasional grammar or spelling mistake (which is strange considering the mistakes I make when writing).

I once read a book that prompted me to end a relationship immediately, and several times have changed my thinking so much at the time that the relationships ended not too far into or out of the book. I even wrote a short story once that, while entirely based on a fantasy, ruined my next (and really only since) encounter with someone I had grown very fond of.

While most of the time I can get very carried away by words, I fear that most other people do not understand the power of them.

I know that most of this is utter nonsense, I recognize that I am caught in a fantasy world that truthfully is ruining my adult life. I am not living it, I am refusing to grow up, and frankly have unrealistic standards of how people should behave.

I am not saying that reading has ruined my life, it has actually greatly improved it. The problem is my refusal to accept reality. I get so involved with the characters in a book, that I literally question relationships. It is not healthy for me to compare the relationship between two characters in a romance novel to the relationship I am currently in. But even I type that sentence, I ask: Well why not? While a romance novel is based on the fantasies and whims of the writer and generally entirely fictional characters, many of these women who write, and even read these are happily married. Why can I not set higher expectations for a man? No, I am not going to fall in love with a Highlander with perfect features, an amazing body and skill set  that is educated but is still willing to learn from me after travelling mistakenly through time...but can i not hope for the mutual trust relationship where both parties are still individuals and yet so in love that they can withstand anything?